Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius said that our life is what our thoughts make it. American philosopher Elbert Hubbart was of the opinion that the biggest mistake you can make in life is to always be afraid of making one. And the writer Mark Twain once wrote that we should try to live in such a way that even the owner of the funeral home regrets our death. But he was a humorist, so even in such a serious topic, as death undoubtedly is, he brought at least a little hilarity.
Death is only the beginning, but only the second chapter
This sentence was uttered by the English playwright William Shakespeare. He was definitely right. According to the Czech screenwriter Jiří Hubač, a person begins to understand life only when he begins to think about death. As a rule, such a situation occurs when he is not doing his best, or he has already encountered death in his surroundings. Then he realizes the finitude of earthly life and more than once begins to think about what he should do differently and what is important in life. And he discovers that he will not take earthly possessions with him to the grave.
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And is it even worth chasing after them? What will it do me if I have ten more clothes in my closet, or if I have not one car in my garage, but two? Isn’t it more important how much time I spend with those I care about most? Speaking of time: it is currently in short supply. Almost everyone complains that they don’t have time, that they miss it. He is always chasing something and time is running out.
Carpe diem
In his first collection of Odes, the Roman poet Horatius used the saying “carpe diem”, which can be translated into Czech as “enjoy the day”. What exactly does it express? The essence is to perceive and appreciate the present moment. To enjoy the beauty of the world around us, to engage in activities that fill us and bring joy. It also means cultivating social relationships with everyone we care about. It is therefore about conscious and active living, when we accept life with everything it brings, including unpleasant and difficult moments.
It is a waste of time to wallow unnecessarily in the past and in the misery that happened to us then. Or to fear the future and paint it in black colors. This robs a person of the strength to live here and now. Carpe diem is a very simple but powerful idea that can help us live a more fulfilling life. Thanks to her, it is possible to look at each day as a gift that we should enjoy to the fullest.
Happiness is a choice
A 2011 study looked at coping with death at the end of life in hospice patients. They suspect or know that the living will no longer leave it. So for most of them, it is a place where they are very likely to die. Some spend a few days in it, others even a few weeks. It is they who find themselves here face to face with death. What do they regret most in their lives?
Hospice patients expressed regret that they had not fulfilled even half of their dreams.
Elderly patients feel regret that they will not see their grandchildren grow up, which is quite understandable. And especially if they waited a long time for them, because their children postponed parenthood until they were older. In the same way, people may regret that they will no longer be around how society will develop in general, what changes will occur in their place of residence, and so on. For them, life stops at a certain point and does not continue any further. But who knows what it’s like after death. So far, no one has been able to give a solid answer to this question.
When we live life according to others
According to the aforementioned study from 2011, people on their deathbeds very often regret that they lived their lives not according to themselves, but based on the wishes of others. For example, they listened to their parents and went to college to study a field they didn’t really enjoy. Later, they submitted to their life partner and lived life according to his expectations.
Hospice patients expressed regret that they had not fulfilled even half of their dreams. And that’s only because of the life choices they made at the behest of others. As long as a person is young, they still see that they still have life ahead of them. But a few years pass, he reaches middle age and suddenly finds that he won’t have time to fulfill some of his dreams. Maybe just because he no longer has enough physical and mental strength for it.
Fear of change and risk taking
They say change is life. There will be some truth to that. Human life is constantly evolving and change is an inherent part of it. A person also changes from the point of view of his opinion on experiencing certain situations, from the point of view of his life attitude and opinions. Change is inherently a driving force for growth. If it did not occur, a person would stagnate in one place.
It has a lot to do with the so-called opening of doors. When some are closed for a person as a result of positive or negative changes, others with new possibilities open up to them, which move them a little further. Every obstacle strengthens a person and brings him life experiences. That is why it is a shame to resist the changes and not to meet them. After all, this is one of the things that people regret at the end of their lives. They are sorry that they missed some life changes. Maybe their life would be more colorful and better with them.
It is hospice patients who realize how little time they spent with those who mattered most to them, how many times in their lives. But they can’t take it back.
Risk is also associated with change. Sometimes in life you have to take risks if you want to make some changes. It was the fear of risk that led many people to the fact that they ultimately did not decide to transform their lives. An example of this would be people staying in dysfunctional relationships because change was what they feared most. At the same time, if they decided to take risks, they could live their lives to the fullest.
Too much work
Almost everyone knows the lack of time for what you really want to do. The working day is packed to the brim with responsibilities that make you neglect the important things. He realizes this usually only at the end of his life’s journey and regrets that he did not have enough time to be more with his family and children. Their childhood whizzes by like lightning, and within a few years they are independent living units. The family also changes, as its members gradually move to the other shore as they grow older. It’s the cycle of life. It is hospice patients who realize how little time they spent with those they cared about the most, how many times in their lives. But they can’t take it back.
Work load is very often related to the fact that a person wants to enjoy a certain standard of living. But in the pursuit of money, he forgets the essentials. A lot of money or material possessions will not make a person happier. It is important to learn to rejoice in the little things and to be satisfied with what I have.
If you’ve read this far, you may have discovered that people on their deathbeds don’t express regret about how few shoes they had in their closet, or that they didn’t build a bigger pool in their backyard. In their situation, the importance of material things fades away and intangible ones come to the fore – love, time, friendship, cohesion, the art of forgiveness. It can be a motivation for you in which direction to direct your life so that you too do not have to regret anything in your last moments.
photo: Shutterstock, source: IFL Science
