Some mothers simply redeem themselves through motherhood. They feel they are saving their children by making them feel guilty.
At the same time, one group of these women is made up of skilled manipulators, while the other group consists of victims who, through maternal bonds, try to compensate for everything they did not achieve on their own. Most of these women do not need the thanks of their children, but professional help.
According to experts, these mothers experience a kind of denial of the very fact that they are mothers. As if motherhood was not their conscious decision, but this condition was imposed on them by their children. So it is possible that these mothers blame their children because they assume that they were the ones who made them mothers. Therefore, if their children did not exist, they would not have to make the effort associated with caring for them. For this reason too, their children must be indebted to them.
As compensation for their physical effort, children must absolutely obey them and love them unconditionally.
Still, not everything has to be about bad mothers in the truest sense of the word. In reality, they can really love their children very much, at least as much as their mental health allows.
“In reality, these mothers want the best for their children, but the problem is that they don’t really know what is best and what is worst for themselves, they don’t even want to change it and work on themselves. Instead, they use motherhood as an excuse not to take responsibility for themselves,” Edith Sánchez explains to the French website Nos Pensees.
Coming to terms with motherhood
A woman becomes a mother the moment she conceives and brings a new being into the world—all provided she watches over the child and overcomes her own vulnerability. This is indeed a great and challenging task in itself, as is every transcendent act that is performed in life.
But the mother is not only there to ensure her child’s physical well-being. Along with her care and protection, she also gives her child the meaning of his existence and sows the seeds of his future world full of emotions. It is not a burden, but an achievement of which a woman should be proud. No good mother can do any good with guilt stored in the conscience of her children.
Unfortunately, children with this fate have a high probability of doubting themselves even in adulthood, it will be difficult for them to achieve autonomy and independence. This can only be avoided if their mothers come to terms with their motherhood and renounce their manipulations.
Does your mother demand gratitude from you at all costs?
Yes, and it’s also the reason I don’t hang out with her much
Yes, it is an endless story even in adulthood
Yes, unfortunately I’m the one dealing with the experts, not her
No, but my partner does
A total of 1475 readers voted.
Signs you were raised by manipulative parents