The daughter at the age of nine had a natural appetite. Her appetite could be envied by many. Yes, she may have put more on her plate at times, but due to her regular exercise, there was no need to worry that she would ever struggle with excess weight. I was happy to have a healthy child.
Unfortunately, in these years, any mention, comment, regarding food, its character, has consequences. It is the age when the body begins to prepare for big changes, for the transformation of a child into a woman, and any fluctuations in food intake can be very harsh. And you carry the consequences for the rest of your life.
There were more of those notes, from my family, which I witnessed as a mom.
“You shouldn’t add anymore…”
“You could be unhappy one day…”
I defended my daughter from my parents, and I was proud when my daughter once defended herself:
“Grandma, but I like myself so much!”
Well, yes, but repeated attacks of this kind burrow into the head like a worm. It’s like any other disease that strikes when you’re weakened.
And so the disease struck. The worm, fed by these notes, grew from a small one to a large one and began to do harm.
It was a blow in the thirteenth year, when, in addition, the daughter transferred to a multi-year gymnasium and had to face more pressure and stressful situations.
These caused her to have recurring panic attacks, and at the same time she began to feel guilty about eating.
In just a few months, she lost ten kilos, which for her, as an active athlete, training four times a week, playing matches almost every weekend, meant an uncompromising stop.
The daughter lost a large percentage of muscle and fat, running across the field suddenly meant a lot of exhaustion for her.
But sport evoked endorphins in her, she looked forward to every meeting with the team. So how can she react when you take away her only joy in life?
Suddenly, as parents, facing such a worm for the first time, we didn’t know how to proceed. We wanted to protect the child, by banning him to motivate him to regain the weight, when the reward would be a return to training.
Believe it or not, it doesn’t work that way. Neither bans nor orders help, one must proceed carefully step by step.
And so began our daily explanation of why food is important, especially during adolescence, when the body needs the energy supply the most.
It will be more than half a year that we have been living with this demon. At first it took the form of avoiding food, i.e. anorexia, currently my daughter is eating much better, unfortunately part of what she eats ends up in the toilet bowl, so now it is more like bulimia.
We are faced with great psychological fluctuations, tears, accusations and, unfortunately, remarks that he no longer wants to be here in the world.
Well, can you imagine that? This is a fight for life. And that’s how we became motivational coaches, we motivate for life, even if I don’t have the strength to speak for myself.
And so I want to warn everyone who thinks that you are helping by commenting on what and how to eat.
It’s just the opposite. You are doing harm. And very much so.
We still have a long fight ahead of us, so hopefully this nightmare will end with the stroke of adulthood.
