Six Signs You’re Not Ready for a Relationship

Society constantly sends us the message that at a certain age we should be in a relationship, have sex, get married and have children too. And if you’re still single and don’t meet these socially constructed milestones, then many think there’s something wrong with you. At the same time, the reality can be completely different.

One of the reasons why things don’t turn out as expected may simply be that you are not ready for a relationship. Family and marriage therapist Erik A. Williams describes the signs that will alert you if this is indeed the case.

You cannot define a healthy relationship

It is not enough to just look at others and try to be like them. You also need to find the commitment to learn more about yourself and the commitments you bring to the relationship. People who can’t define a healthy relationship like to say things like, “We’ll let it flow,” “I don’t want anything too serious.”

Take the time to explore who you are, why you believe certain things in relationships, how you can be a better partner, and thus better choose your partner.

You lack vision

Each of us should have visions and goals that we would like to achieve in the future, including relationships.

How to strengthen relationships with loved ones by starting to think more about yourself

Relationships and sex

Unfortunately, people often jump into a relationship just to be with someone, without any idea how it will work out for them in the future.

Setting a vision allows you to create a fulfilling life while minimizing the number of unfulfilled relationships. Take the time to explore your personal values and create a clear goal.

You have unhealthy boundaries

There are three main types of boundaries: solid, porous, and healthy. Firm boundaries mean you are more likely to avoid intimacy and close relationships and may be perceived as emotionally unavailable. If you have porous borders, it’s difficult for you to say no. You take responsibility for your partner’s problems and depend only on his opinion.

Healthy boundaries then mean that you refuse to compromise your values, accept your partner’s “no” and are able to communicate your needs and wishes.

Relationship is your cure for loneliness

Some people are in a relationship just so they don’t feel alone, and the words single or loneliness scare them like it’s a prison sentence. At the same time, solitude does not mean loneliness, it is more about a relationship with yourself, how to like yourself and how to take care of your needs. So learn to work with yourself and engage in activities that you enjoy. Go for walks, listen to your favorite songs, learn to paint, travel independently, etc.

It is acceptable for you to be someone’s option

Being just another option makes you more likely to get hurt. You accept that any attention is better than none. This situation is then either a loss or a win. But even if you win and become the only person your partner chooses to be with, you also need to consider whether and for how long they can really commit to only you.

Realize that you are worthy of being the only partner and deserve to be loved, respected, appreciated and supported unequivocally and without compromise.

You think only of your needs

In a relationship, love is a mutual effort. The Golden Rule says that we should do unto others only as we would have them do unto us. However, not everyone has the same needs to feel loved. According to author Gary Chapman, there are five love languages: words, receiving gifts, deeds and services, quality time, and physical touch. Everyone is comfortable with something different, so you and your partner should respect and support each other’s needs.