The wise rules of our great-grandmothers for a happy marriage: It worked then, it would still work today

The desire of girls living in the late 19th and early 20th centuries for dowries stemmed mainly from duty to family, gaining a good name and security for the future. To remain a so-called old virgin was unthinkable for many young ladies.

Another motivation was, in addition, the title “wife”. He promised every woman who was proud of him a certain social role, and with it a related position in the social hierarchy.

Evidence that this function was considered serious can still be found today. Try walking around the cemetery. On a number of tombstones, you will also find inscriptions under the names of those buried, noting that the deceased was “the wife of the manager” or “the teacher”.

The wife played the role of property manager in the family. While the man was the main breadwinner, she was in charge of managing the money. The ability to draw up a balanced budget was crucial for many households and required not only at least a basic education, but also the ability to think ahead and plan.

Marriage

It was therefore a woman who was considered the person who cements the family and ensures its happiness. It was therefore a problem when something didn’t work.

While today disagreements are often resolved by divorce, in the time of our great-grandmothers, this method of ending a marriage was condemned and the courts approached it only as a last resort, i.e. when there was domestic violence or the man was an alcoholic.

In addition, the rule was that divorce brought additional problems. Society looked down on these women. It was difficult for them to get a serious job or meet another potential partner again.

That’s why popular magazines at the time issued advice on how to become a good housewife, how to create a happy family atmosphere, how to be a perfect wife, and thus prevent the worst. One of the ten was also published by the popular magazine Česká hospodyně 12.2. in 1903.

The Ten Commandments for a Wife

Under number one is a recommendation that will sound regressive to many feminists: “Love your husband more than yourself. All duties will become easy for you.” However, another rule elaborates it: “Be neither a mistress, nor a slave, nor a puppet, nor a broom to your husband, but a faithful companion.”

Other lines talk about tolerance: “Be hesitant to anger and willing to reconcile. Show understanding for the man’s profession and his hobbies. Don’t be jealous of his friends, but try to be a good friend to them too.”

The rules recommending that a woman should not wish falsely, and that if she committed any transgression, she should immediately confess to her husband may seem somewhat contradictory. However, if her husband gives her an inappropriate gift, she should at least enjoy his good intentions.

The last lines are devoted to the wife’s social duties. It should be machined carefully and cleaned at home. But if her partner offers her to go out with him, she has to postpone her work. However, it is important that she does not keep him waiting. “In a few moments, idle standing will grow into a whole tree of annoyance.”

Resources: www.ndk.cz, www.theses.cz, www.cs.wikipedia.org